Are You There God? It's Me...Holly.

I know I usually use this for music purposes, but I'm allowed to break the rules once in awhile right? I just had to get these thoughts out. Maybe it's my insomnia at work, maybe it's my conscience trying to speak to me, whatever it is my brain is on.

I've got so much on my mind. I guess first on the list is the realization that my heroes are just...disappearing. I'm not talking that David Copperfield magician stuff, I'm talking life. It's scary to think that one day, you're here and the next you aren't. As most of you are aware, David Jones of The Monkees meant the world to me, he was my hero--the big brother I always wanted, the person I wanted to be...a role model to look up to besides my parents! (As great as they were/are...) His career sort of sparked me to do everything I could to break into the radio business with both feet in the water. Through it, I've met some pretty cool people, and most of them are the ones reading this right now.

People have asked me about the upcoming Monkee tour, or what's popularly being called The 3Kees tour. As true as it is that they aren't touring even remotely close to me, the heart of the matter is that David was my hero, and I'm pretty sure if I went to one of the shows, all I'd see is a hole in the floor. I'm super glad the other three are reuniting, but my toast is buttered on the side of "It's too soon"...for ME.  Now, don't think I'm a horrible fan because of that. I'm in a really awkward place. I've got so much to be thankful for thanks to what David Jones and The Monkees in general, have done for me. If you asked me ten years ago if I knew I was going to do this DJ gig and meet all these really groovy people, I probably would've protested and said I was going to be a Print Journalist. Nah, scratch that I know I would.

So, here I sit...sleepless, looking back on this wonderful adventure we've all been on together with a mixed bag of emotions. I'm so grateful I could pop, and on the same coin, I know I'd be almost nowhere if this hadn't happened, so there's a hint of guilt. I told a friend of mine, and fellow listener that David has given me so much confidence and power to do what I do, and now his youngest daughter Annabel, is giving me that exact same power and confidence. Of course, my Ship Mateys add to the elixir. It's a powerful concoction you all make!

So, in a nutshell, am I glad this 3Kees thing is happening? Sure, for the three surviving brothers who deserve and need to be together because life is too short, For the father and son whose bond will last forever, and their musical legacies even longer, Do I feel like there's a Missing Link if you will? Most definitely...that damn big hole in the floor...am I happy for my friends who are going? Yes! Rock out until you pass out...BUT

I'm choosing to pay it forward in a different way. My grief, my sadness, my confusion are my crosses to bare. You'll see me at the Convention...I just want to do this by doing what I do best, giving back with the gift of music. Hope you'll stop by.

I just hope my other heroes, including a certain Turtle...will do me a favor and stick around a little longer, I don't know how much more heartache I can stand.

In short...I'm scared.